"George at Apple Studios" drawing

Hmmmmm,.... I guess I was in a creative mood tonight -- I just drew another one. :)

I felt inspired tonight and drew a picture of George :-)

I have tried a few times before but they never turned out-- whereas this one finally turned out (or at least turned out pretty well) -- It is not easy to do realistic portraits with a computer mouse! LOL.

There are still probably parts of this drawing I will want to change and refine. It still doesn't quite look the way I want it to look.

Someplace Else: This is such a beautiful song

I really hope this works and I really hope you all *whomever happens to stop by* take the time to watch this video. It is short but OH it is such a BEAUTIFUL melody.

I hope you all had a wonderful Holiday

Hi there all! It is SUNNY here today (Eeek!) LOLOL (I guess it is ok) The snow is ALL melted. I sure loved our snow storm this year and I HOPE we have some more before the Winter season ends. (grins) But it is also VERY nice to be able to get out of the apt and drive somewhere. :-)
I haven't been on the computer for a couple of days (it FEELS like it has been even longer) I visited my mom this past Saturday and that was nice. My brother and sis in law came by for 2 hours too (before they went to a Chanukah party) -- After they left, mom and I watched "Wall.E" and "Ratatoulle" (mom's DVDs). I liked "Ratatoulle" best, but it was fun to see them both. I got a very pretty sparkly (you know me and sparkles LOL) Christmas card (of a tree) from mom, with a gift card for a meal at Red Lobster (mmmmmmm) ....and Rob and Maureen (my brother and sis in law) gave me a poster of George Harrison "for Chanukah" ! Ok ... LOL Mom gave Rob and Maureen some nice restaurant gift cards too ("Olive Garden" and "AppleBees").
I gave mom and Maureen 3 pairs of handmade bead earrings. I think (hope) they liked them. I didn't really have a present for my brother because I didn't think we were going to exchange gifts at all (seeing as how he is now against Christmas as being "too Pagan") ... so I ended up just giving him 4 wrapped "Heath" candy bars, but he said he was pleased with them and shared one with us all. I also gave mom some chocolate jelly sticks (she loves those) and I gave Maureen a nice gel pen set. I still wish we could go back to having our regular family Christmas the way we used to -- (I really miss the way it used to be) but I am grateful that at least we had this brief family get-together this past Saturday. :-)

Happy Holidays!!!

Hi there all - I hope you are all having a nice Christmas (or whatever Holiday you celebrate) I am sitting here alone (with my cats) unable to go anywhere (and not really having a Christmas even if I COULD go somewhere) .... but at least I am glad that we had these wonderful snow storms this year. Our snow seems to be over (unfortunately) .... we mainly seem to be getting rain now -- but the roads (and stairs) are still slippery, and the news/weather stations are saying that we need to have chains or traction devices to drive down I-5 from my exit, to about 20 miles down. (So, that means I can't go visit mom today) *EEEEEW -- now the sun is coming out-- BLAH .... :-( But still, I am very glad that we had snow and this is an OFFICIAL "White Christmas!."
I called a friend with whom I'd been out of contact since this past summer (long story on the reason why but suffice to say that it was her not calling me not the other way around, after she had wronged me, so the ball was really in her court, so to speak....) I decided to just let bygones be bygones and be in the spirit of the season and call her. -=- Well, I guess that was a mistake!!! I spoke to her husband, and he was nice but when he told her who it was she said that she couldn't get to the phone (she was "in the bathroom and would call me right back") Well, she hasn't called (and she has had plenty of time to finish up) so I guess she is pulling what she did last summer again. I guess she probably won't call (and after saying so many times how our friendship would last forever! HA!) I wish it didn't hurt but it does. Now I feel like a fool for having called her --- even tho I know that that was a nice, forgiving thing for me to do.
:-(
I know that I took the high road by calling so I should not feel bad even though she is being a jerk -- but unfortunately it still hurts. :-( I must admit -- I really hate how someone being mean can really cause one's own mood to go down. I would like it not to affect me but screw it -- it DOES affect me. (I guess I am in a "grumpy mood, like FD gets in, sometimes" Bah Humbug LOL) (Hopefully this mood will pass soon cuz I know it only hurts me -- and I hate feeling this way. In general, even tho I can be a depressed person sometimes, I usually really TRY to keep a good attitude about things. I guess I just don't understand, even after all these years, why some people seem to enjoy hurting others. :-(
Well, I hope you all are having a nice Holiday, Merry Christmas etc. I have sure had better ones. I hope I have a better one next year (if I am still here) (I wouldn't DO anything-- I just know that we never know when our time is up on Earth) Remember our time is short here, and call those whom you love.

Thick Ice and Power going out

The freezing rain came early last night and covered my window by the computer (among other things). Now it looks like opaque textured shower glass that you can't see thru! lol The poor tree branches (and power lines) are weighted down with the ice. It sure LOOKS pretty though. Last night/this morning my power went out twice but fortunately it came back. It sure got cold in here FAST when the power went out! I was already under two quilts with a warm cat but within about five minutes I was trying to hide my face under the blanket cuz my face got very cold. I am glad the power came back quickly that time.
Of course, the power going out plays havoc with a sleep apnea machine. I woke up this morning, trying to breath thru the mask with no air coming thru. Fortunately they have holes in the mask so it is not like I was going to suffocate or anything, but of course I took the mask off cuz it was not doing any good anyway.
One of my new friends on SL to the south of me had her power go out last night while we were on SL. She was able to stay online for a while even with the power out (I still am not quite sure how she did that) (lol) but her power didn't come back. I was worried about her but thank goodness today I heard that she went to a hotel so she is ok. I am so glad. I hope her power comes back at home soon.
I still love this wild weather but I DO wish that I were better at driving in it. (grins) There are no stores or buss-stops within walking distance of me and I do get a bit tired of being stuck here ..... But still, stuck or not, power outages or not, I do love this weather. (smiles)

My Newest ratemydrawing.com sketch ...

Hi there --- I decided to play with that "ratemydrawing.com" page again. They have a new beta drawing tool so I decided to play with it. Their water colour brush is rather interesting to work with. My drawings are nothing compared to some of the FANTASTIC drawings you can find at that site -- but it was still fun to play there. I guess I will head off to bed now.

http://www.ratemydrawings.com/drawings/abstract/392174.html

Whooooo Hoooo ! I can't help it - another SNOW post! :-)

Hi there --- I royally goofed up my sleep again by staying up all night, constantly looking out my window and praying for more SNOW ..... It took FOREVER (it seemed) but it FINALLY arrived around 4:30 am! I stood out in it and caught some on my tongue! (I am so mature- grins) lolol I admired the beautiful glittering world as the flakes fell silently. My hair is still damp from snowflakes! (giggles)
I let Blueberry out a bit so she could look at the snow as it fell on her fur(I held her cuz I didn't want her running away and getting lost....) She is sure curious about it. :-) It is so beautiful and so fresh! I was so excited I turned on my computer and went to my blog page JUST so I could post about it! (smiles) (Of course, now it has stopped -- darn it - but still, it was/is so wonderful! I hope we get LOTS more!)
***I guess this is what happens when you don't get snow as a kid-- you make up for it as an adult! (giggles) Watch out parents -- let your kids experience snow as kids if you don't want them to turn out all wacky for it as an adult like me! :-D *** (Darn -- I wish it would start snowing again!)

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the snow

..... but BOY is my apt C O L D (even with a heat-dish) LOL
I wanted to try to drive somewhere today (cuz I haven't been out for awhile) but it was TOOOO cold ... (especially with no sweat shirts, no sweaters, no coats, no jackets, and just a hoody to wear. LOL -- I guess I didn't prepare myself very well clothes-wise for cold weather!) Still, I LOVE this cold weather =- ESPECIALLY if it snows some more! :-)

We finally got SNOW!!!! Whooo HOooooooo!!!

We got SNOW today!!!!!!!!! Yipeeeeee!!!! I was waiting and waiting and waiting for it! It looks soooo lovely outside! I admit, I can do without the cooooooldddddd winddddd but still -- I love the snow!! We are going to have the coldest week we have had in over 18 years --- it will be sunny, clear and cold (ugh) sooooo I am VERY glad that we got some snow to start it out! (I am not a huge fan of it being VERY cold so I figure if it is going to be soooo cold == then it is much more fun having snow on the ground!) It is going to be below 0 degrees with the wind chill this week so wowowowow -- wish I had better heaters in the apt, and I wish I had a coat! LOLOLOL (so much for being prepared) :-(
It is hard to beat having lovely white flakes falling, even though they stopped over two hours ago! I wish it were going to SNOW for a week, but oh well! For the rest of the week we have only the cold temps to look forward to -- with no more precipitation. Still, I am sooooo happy the snow came today!! :-D Whoooooo Hoooooo!!! (grins)
(It IS a bit cold sitting here by the computer even tho I have my heatdish on, and a blanket over me...... I think I will turn everything off and go back under the blankets cuz this is toooooo cold to type (and our BIG freeze hasn't even HIT yet -- eeek) ) lolol It may be too cold to spend much time at the computer this week. (This is not a very warm apt) (my computer is right by two windows == on the North/East corner of my apt (facing directly into the cold cold cold wind).

Today is the anniversary of the last time I talked to my friend Karen...

Sorry that there are so many blogs, here lately, about anniversaries of deaths etc, but for some reason these months (late November thru mid January) have a LOT of sad anniversaries for me. (More than at any other time of year) I don't know why there should be so many in these months ..... I wonder if other people have anniversaries like this at this time of year. Maybe people tend to die more around the end of the year cuz of it being the end of a year? Or maybe it is just the way it is for my family/friends.

At any rate, on Monday, Dec 11th 2005, at about 11 am or so -- I got a call from my friend, Karen (whom I had known for over 35 years) telling me that she was feeling very depressed and suicidal.. She was calling from Los Angeles, where she had gone down for a week or two to visit her man/friend (*boyfriend just doesn't seem to fit for a 60+ year old man .... Karen prefered older men). She had spent most of 2005 up in Oregon, and I'd spent 3 to 5 days every week she was up here trying to help her to get acclaimated to where maybe she could stay here if she chose to. Like me, she always prefered the rain to the sun, so she was VERY tired of Los Angeles where it usually is full of endless sunny days. She even had a pet for the first time in her life (from 2004 to 2005) -- a Bishon Frise (spelling) she'd named Shatzi. Anyway, Alan (her friend) had paid for her to have an apt up here for that past year, to see if she really liked living in Oregon (instead of just always talking about it) It was very nice of him to pay for that apt for a year for her. Understandibly, he didn't want to pay for it indefinately so it was time for her to decide to either move to Oregon and pay for it herself or move back down to LA. I found out (later) that she had enough money to pay for an apt up in Oregon for a year -=- but I guess she somehow didn't think she could afford it -- so that day (when she called me) she was angry at her father for not giving her money to move up here and she felt like she had to perminently move back down to LA.
She told me she was upset and suicidal during that last phone call but unfortunately I thought she needed an empathetic ear more than a more active 'intervention" on my part. I didn't realize she had actually decided she was going to commit suicide and was taking steps to do it as we spoke on the phone that morning. :-( I wish I HAD realized this because I think I would have said different things to her and maybe even been able to talk her out of it, or even called the authorities to get her hospitalized (which I would have done -whether it made her angry or not) -- but instead I was just trying to be there for her as she expressed her feelings of depression. I DID ask her "What are you doing now?" but all she said to that was "I'm taking a walk." Which sounded pretty healthy to me so I didn't persue it. I should have. Turns out she was "taking a walk" to a hotel to spend the next couple of nights there taking pills 'til she OD'ed. :-(

Intellectually, I know that I am not to blame for her suicide. If someone really wants to commit suicide they will eventually succeed. She had talked of killing herself for the full 35 years I had known her (and before). She was getting better and better at it with each attempt. I KNOW this and yet I still feel that I could have said something to talk her out of it.
With her last attempt I had been able to find her in time (even tho she was unconscious from the pill overdose). She'd come very close to succeeding that time (in Jan 2004) and, I guess, would have succeeded had I not found her. She was furious at me afterwards for rescuing her. She didn't talk to me for months. But she got almost 2 more years of life after the 2004 suicide attempt which is a good thing. I wish that I had realised what she was saying/doing when she called me that December 11th morning three years ago today. I am sure that that phone call will replay over and over again in my head 'til the day I die. :-( :-( :-(

If ANY of you out there feels even the least bit suicidally depressed -- CALL for help, be VERY clear about your intentions, let yourself be admitted into a hospital for awhile, see a therapist, DO SOMETHING to save yourself --- because suicide is a decision you can not come back from. It also affects the people you love for the rest of their lives! There is a lot of anger in suicide. Many people who commit suicide want to "show them" (punish the people they love - for not having loved them enough -- "look what you drove me to.") I know they also want to end the pain of their lives -- but as I say == the decision is FINAL, and once you're gone, you're gone.
The one CONSTANT thing of life is change -- and that means that even the things that are depressing you will change and many will go away. There CAN be a light at the end of the dark tunnel. You CAN feel happy and fulfilled again... (or even happy and fulfilled for the first time in your life). Suicide takes all those chances away AND -- it leaves your loved ones with mixed feelings of sorrow for their friend/lover who was killed AND ANGER at the murderer who killed them - (which, in suicide, is the same person).
(I know I am on the soap box here but if even ONE person reads this and changes their minds about suicide == then it is worth it!) Too bad it is too late for Karen. :-(

(((((((Hugs to you all out there))))))

Take care of yourselves!

Wow, I totally goofed up my sleep again! LOLOL

Hi there -- I stayed up all night and all morning and now heading into the afternoon! Sheesh! I really shouldn't do this I know, but I get on a roll and can't stop. (no online addict here) HA !LOL
At least I made three new gowns and I sent one out as a Holiday Present to my *AuroraSkye Creations* group on SL,.... So, if you are in the group -- make sure you got the present -- and if you are NOT in the group -- join it for free (if you wish to) and you can get the Holiday Present Fractal Gown by going through the notices. (Which won't be hard cuz, as far as I know, there is only ONE notice there! LOLOL).

Anniversary of when John Lennon was killed...

I made this photo retouch in honor of John today. I always liked this photo. It is so sad that John was killed -- especially at such a young age! I hate that.

It is so sad for his family, and for all of us. I can't help but wonder about all the additional music he would have made, and what he would have thought about the war in Iraq etc. So much for "Imagine - Peace."

I know I never knew him personally, but I still miss his presence upon the Earth with all of us. I hope there is an after-life where maybe we can all see people again.

I visited mom today ...

Oh, ok, I guess officially it was YESTERDAY (cuz it is after midnight as I write this).....
It was a nice visit. I picked up some subway sandwiches for us both, so we enjoyed a nice lunch/dinner. Then we tried to order a pay-per-view movie but found that we couldn't cuz the box for her cable is owned by the assisted care living place and they only allow people to have the regular cable stations with no pay-per-views. Oh well. So we watched a couple of the FREE movies on the "On Demand" station. One was "Joe's Apartment" (I think that was the name of it) where some guy moves into a NY apt and shares it with thousands of (animated) cockroaches. (And they sing and dance too! LOL) Then we watched "Mr. Wrong" with Bill Pullman and Ellen DeGeneres. Both were pretty weird movies. LOL
Now I am very sleepy, .... so I guess I should head for bed. (Oh what an exciting life I lead) (Actually I am glad it is not too exciting) (grins)

Hi there all (or whomever stumbles upon this blog)

For some reason I have not really felt like getting on SL lately. I am not sure why. I miss my friends there but I guess I have just felt the need to "be alone" and reflect. This time of year has a lot of anniversaries of many losses for me. Fortunately, I am not particularly depressed but I guess I am just in a solitary type mood.
Tomorrow, I promised to visit my mother. I always enjoy our visits once I am there -- and I am glad that she is here for me to visit -- but at the moment I am not in the mood to go anywhere. Oh well.
I hope you all (or whomever still reads this blog - if anyone- lol) are doing ok. I do want to come back and be more active in SL soon --- Hopefully, I will eventually. In the mean time I hope life is treating everyone well.

"Critter" died :-(

In 2001, (pre 9/11 -- by a month) I got a sweet little sugar glider I named "Critter"! (His original name was "Tiny Tim" - eeek!) I bought him from a friend in St Louis who I was visiting. He flew home on the plane with me in my bra! He was sooooooo cute! When I got him home, Blueberry, (who I had bought in June that same year) befriended him. She used to spend hours watching him run and play in his large cage - and he came over and greeted her a lot too. I took him to Art School with me in his little pouch. I really LOVED him but I was also worried that I was not able to provide the best home for him. The more I learned about Sugar Gliders -- the more I realised that they are very social creatures and prefer to have another sugar glider around. Also, their diet is VERY specific and specialized (and not easy to make) One has to be careful that they get enough calcium in their diets or they could get paralysis. I started to worry that my care would not be good enough for him so I eventually gave him away to someone who had other sugar gliders, on the contingency that I could still visit him. After I gave him away -- I regretted it. I had never given one of my pets away before, and I really missed him. (So did Blueberry) And, Jonathon, the guy I gave him to, lived somewhat far away so it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be to visit Critter. Still, I kept telling myself it was for the best for my little sugar glider.

Now, I am not so sure it WAS the best for him. Sugar Gliders can normally live up to 14 years in captivity. Critter was only 7 years old, so he definitely didn't die of old age. :-( Still, I don't blame Jonathon (the guy who I gave him to). I am sure he tried his best.

I got the call from Jonathon, today. It was the first time I had heard from him in almost 6 years, so I had feeling that this was not good news. He said that Critter was fine last night and the night before, but that, today, he found him dead in his wheel. :-( Jonathon said that he noticed that one of Critter's hind legs seemed to be a bit paralyzed at one point, a couple of days ago, but that he thought nothing of it. He had also not had the BML (which is the MAIN part of a sugar glider's diet) for a month or so =- because the store had been out of one of its main ingredients, but that he didn't think that a sugar glider could die from low calcium in just a month! I guess we will never know what happenned.

Even though Critter didn't live with me the last 6 years, I thought of him often and figured that I would still get to visit him sometime. It hurts because now I NEVER WILL be able to see his sweet, loving, little face again. :-(

RIP little one.

Remembering George on this anniversary of his death :-(

Blah -- I hate to feel this way -- esp right after Thanksgiving, but ....

... I am feeling rather depressed. :-( As far as our family is concerned -- the Holidays are over --- cuz my brother and sis-in-law will no longer celebrate Christmas! (it is not in the TORAH) (BLAH) And since, my family is all I have to celebrate Christmas with (locally) that means that I don't get to celebrate Christmas anymore either. I HATE it. :-( I LIKE being able to get together with family and remember God and give each other gifts. I HATE that we can no longer do that. It hurts. :-(
And I think it will be EVEN harder -- cuz I will be seeing everyone else both in RL and in SL, getting ready for, and celebrating Christmas .... when it is over for us. DARN -- It really hurts! I wish I had a husband and kids of my own cuz then I could celebrate Christmas with them and my in-laws -- but I don't have any husband/bf in my life. :-( I wish I had some local RL friends that I could celebrate Christmas with -- but nope on that count too.
Blah -- I guess I am just really feeling down about this -- I was hoping that this non-Christmas bit with my brother wouldn't affect me -- but it does) :-( :-( :-( :-(
At least in the past- - I wouldn't have these "after the Holidays" blues til AFTER New Year's Day -- but as I say -- NOW it has come after Thanksgiving cuz there is nothing left to look forward to -- Holiday-wise, for me. It is NOT about getting presents for me -- it is about the whole MOOD of the Holidays --and it is of buying presents for others and looking forward to whether they will like my choice of gifts or not. I like the whole mood of everyone being nicer to each other and thinking of others for a change. I know I don't need a Holiday to do that -- but somehow -- it just feels like now I am MORE left out on Life than before -- and I was already left out of a lot of things before. :-( (I am having trouble explaining it)
PLUS -- Since a power outtage a day or so ago - my TV has died -- it now shows only squiggly lines instead of the picture. Grrrrr! I am DE-pressed! :-(

BLAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I played with the colours on one of my Tudor Gowns ...

..... and I like the results! Whoo hoooo! (Grins)
Gold sure looks neat on dark blue! :-) I had a nice Thanksgiving! I hope you all did too. I brought a Chocolate Satin Cream Pie over for dessert -- and it was delicious (but high in calories!) lol Maureen's turkey turned out wonderfully!!! We packed up a nice dish and brought it over to mom and she enjoyed it too. Then we watched a "Everybody Loves Raymond" episode on one of Maureen's DVDs of the show. Then, later, watched the movie "Click" on regular TV. It was actually a fairly well done movie -- with the moral lesson about not rushing/fast-forwarding thru life.
It was fun. :-) (Doesn't this tudor gown look neat?)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING everyone!!! :-)

I hope, wherever you all are, that you have a wonderful day! Pat some cats and/or dogs. Hug some friends (in RL or in Cyberlife). Listen to some relaxing (or wild, or fun) music! Enjoy remembering things you are grateful for in your lives! Feel warmth. Partake in a nice meal. Do something kind for someone. Feel free to share some other suggestions. (grins) :-)
*HUGS!*

I had a nice (early) Thanksgiving with Mom, and family

My brother, sister in law, and I, all met mom at her assisted care living place for lunch today. It was very nice (altho it took about 45 minutes before we got served and by then practically everyone else was having dessert LOL) But still, it was nice (I LOVE turkey). They even had a singer who was a very good entertainer. The songs he sang were pretty much before my time but he really put his all into them -- and asked many people to dance with him during the instrumental sections. He had a good voice and as I say, was a very good entertainer!
The parking lot was soooo crowded ---there were NO spaces left to park, so people even parked next to red (no parking curbs). I have never seen it so crowded before. Unfortunately, I was one of the ones who had to park illegally cuz there was no other even relatively close street to park on -- and no way could I have walked it from the hospital parking above. Fortunately, I didn't get a ticket! Boy am I glad about that!!! :-)
When I came home tonight, I gave my two cats some turkey and giblets wet catfood (they normally only have the dry cat food so wet catfood is always a treat for them). They now get a half a small can each -- whereas they used to only get a 3rd of a can each when Duncan was still with us. Of course, after they chowed down -- I heard one of them throwing up !! Grrrrrrr (Good one, Cat!) :-( She must have eaten too fast or something-- sheesh--- "easy come and easy go." :-(
I am grateful about so many things. I am glad Mom is still with us, and lives close by. I am glad my brother and sister in law live close by too. I am grateful I get along with my family -- so many people don't. I am grateful that my test results turned out to be negative. I am grateful for my catlets, and that I have a place to live. I am grateful that my legs are sometimes not so bad (at least the inability to walk is not constant). I am grateful I didn't get a parking ticket today! I am grateful I got home safely from a very high traffic drive tonight. I am grateful that we are in the Fall/Winter season (even tho it is going WAYYYYYY too fast!) (grins) I am grateful that it might rain tomorrow (I HOPE so == but I won't hold my breath). I am grateful for the Internet, computers, Beatles music, and "YouTube" videos LOL. Most of all, I am grateful for family and friends, old and new.
I HOPE you all have a Happy Thanksgiving -- whether you officially celebrate it or not. :-)

I made a pink one, (with leaves!), for ya, Princess! (grins)

As you requested! I hope ya like it! I am not saying you have to get it but it is there for you in case you want it. :-) Who knows -- if you like it, maybe Alphonsus will get it for ya. ;-) (not that he has to either) I stayed up all night again like an idiot. I keep doing that. Still, it was fun. I tried to do some photo retouches for my brother. He may not think they look good enough but it was fun to try anyway. I hope he likes them. Mean old TV land has stopped playing my 6 am "Star Trek"s. LOL (meanies!!) They are now playing "infomercials" instead! :-(

Have a nice day all who stop by!!! And have a Happy Thanksgiving this week too! :-)

I finally made a silver version of the VINE dress

Normally I would have kept the box the same but I tried a different box style with this one. Took me forever to do this box - so I doubt I will do any like it in the future ! LOL
I completely re-drew the skirt for this silver one cuz I wanted to add some dots. :-) Now if I make anymore -- I have to re-draw the skirt AGAIN -- cuz I can't change the colour of the silver one cuz it has NO colour on it to tint. lol (Oh well) They are fun to draw. :-)

Whooo Hooooo -- the test was negative!!!!

I am SOOOOOOO SOOOOOOOO SOOOOOOOO grateful!!!! Thank you so much all who were praying for me and all who gave me reassurance - and TY God, Yshua, Yaweh, however you'd like to be called, Lord!!! This is such a relief! I went to the hospital to get the extra X-rays they wanted done and then a Dr came in and said that cysts can have a tendency to form close to eachother making them look bigger -- and that is what two of mine did. He said they looked benign!! Phew!!!!
Frankly, I am not sure how they can tell just from pictures -- if something is benign or not -- but I am sooo glad that these look benign to the Dr today. It was a different Dr than the one who called me back to have more pictures taken -- so I must admit I would also like to hear the original Dr's opinion on them (just in case the second Dr would have seen the earlier pics as benign too) I want to be sure that there is nothing wrong!
I feel SOOOO relieved, though! I feel like I escaped an ax! I am SOOOO grateful! Again -- thankyou all who were so kind and patient with me while I freaked out a bit from being nervous! I know we all have to die sometime but I am just glad that my time hasn't come up yet (at least so far) :-)
HUGS to everyone!! Everyone go out and smell some roses, enjoy the rain, hug a cat, enjoy the time we have! :-D

I made a new dress that I am pleased with ....

I have stayed up way over 24 hours now -- trying to stay up til a more regular bed-time so I can, hopefully, sleep straight thru to tomorrow when I have to go for more breast pictures to be taken (wheeeeeee). Last night/this morning I worked hard on a new sort of dress and I am pleased with how it turned out. In a way -- the picture doesn't do it justice cuz this "dress" may actually look better without the prim skirt at all! :-) I like how the Vine grows around one leg and then up over the upper body. It also looks very Art Nouveau-ish (spelling?) to me, and I LOVE the Art Nouveau style!

Anyway, I made a teal green, a gold, and a blue one before I decided to head back into the real world. I hope people enjoy them. :-) I would like to try to make a silver one later, if I can. :-) I should have made the box somehow show that the left leg is bare. As it is -- the box makes it look like BOTH legs are covered with the design -- which (in my opinion) is not as nice as having it only be one leg. Oh well, I am too lazy to change the box design on all three of them.

I've been sleeping a lot this week...

I am nervous about having to have a second set of mammagram pics taken on Thursday. They found something irregular that has grown since the last pics were taken (3 years ago -- ooops) :-( on my right breast. I really don't want the Big C. :-( I hope/pray that it is just a harmless, benign cyst. It still has me nervous, though.

I am really missing George Harrison tonight

It's so silly really, he has been gone for 7 years now -- you would think I could accept the loss and move on but, I don't know, sometimes I miss him more and more. Even though I never knew him personally (darn it), I still miss him just being on this planet with us all. Heck, I miss John Lennon being here too. I wonder what music they both would have created, and what interesting observations they would have made in interviews. I miss George's quiet, modest, self-effacing humour, and his (and John's) openness, and sincerity.

I guess my thoughts are towards missing them both cuz it is coming up on the anniversary of both their deaths (about a week apart) November 29th and Dec 8th, respectively. 58 years old and 40 years old are way too young to die in my opinion. I also miss my friends, ---Susan (died Nov14th, or so, 2006 - age 55?), Karen (Dec 13th - age 45), and Pat (Jan 11th 1998 - age 65) --- and my Dad, (died - Jan 17th 1983 - Age 53 <-- way too young). Definitely a lot of losses in these next couple of months. :-(

"Handle With Care" - The Traveling Wilburys

OOooooooo you all MUST listen to this song (even if you have heard it before!) It is SUCH a fantastic song - done by one of the BEST groups ever!!! Roy Orbison's voice is GORGEOUS, and the beautiful melody by George Harrison frames Roy's voice perfectly! I sure miss the Traveling Wilburys!!!



"Handle With Care" - The Traveling Wilburys

Getting passport ....

Hi there -- I guess I figure if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. I decided to get pictures taken and paperwork done to get another passport. I had one before but I never used it and it expired. :-( It would have been nice to go to England. Now I am not sure I will ever get there -- but it is nice to imagine that I may make it there someday. :-)
My brother got pics of mom to get her passport renewed too. I guess its good to be prepared altho my apt is such a mess it would be very hard for me to get out of here ....and where would I go?
Blueberry was searching the bedroom the other night and I think she was looking for Duncan! She found the last place where he was sleeping before I took him into the vets to be put down and she climbed into the place and stayed there for a little bit. :-( She may be missing him.
I haven't been able to tell if Tai Chi has been missing Duncan or not. I wish I had gotten pics of the three of them sleeping together. It was always so cute to wake up and see them all curled up together in eachother's arms.
I made a couple of new fractal dresses on SL the other night ....but I have so many fractal dresses now -- I am thinking I really need to come up with something different. I am not sure what, though. I like my animated "Elements" gowns -- but I am not really sure how or IF I can continue those. I would like to think of "something completely different" ....but my mind has been blank lately. Still, hopefully I will come up with something. I LOVE making SL dresses. I sure wish they were as easy to make in RL! lol Heck, I would love to wear them myself! It would be so much fun! :-)

I'm feeling a bit down

Hi there all --- I slept all day today -- I was really tired but of course I wish I hadn't slept the day away. I got up at 7 pm and now I am up and probably will be staying up all night. :-(
My brother is getting his passport and is still talking about leaving the country and that has me scared and depressed. I don't want him to leave.

It was a nice GREY day all day today!

I sure LOVE grey rainy days (Not sure if I should spell "grey" as "gray" or as "grey"?) I wish it would POUR (like it did last night) but at least it was misty all day. My legs have been hurting big time again (especially my left leg) Darn it! It was sooo nice having them feel somewhat better last week -- I don't know why they are hurting big time again. :-( VERY hard to stand or walk at all. :-( :-(

Duncan is dead :-(

Hi there all -- *(or whomever still reads this blog). I had to put my oldest cat, Duncan, down tonight. :-( I probably should have yesterday but then the vet told me they would do blood work and call me today with the results, and he gave me anti-biotics to give him in case the problem was an infection. Frankly, I am NOT at all happy with how the vets ended up handling things. They SAID they would call today but they never did and then when I called them for the blood work results they just kept giving me excuse after excuse as to why they didn't have the results. I had to call a lot and be on hold a lot and even call the vet I saw yesterday over at a diff office (where he was today) THEN they didn't even FAX him the test results when they said they were doing so --"The fax machine was broken" ... and the "blood test machine was broken" yesterday, ... and "The Dr wasn't here today" (but they already KNEW he wasn't going to be there ... and then the Dr who WAS in was soooo busy today (well, again, that is THEIR mis-management - not mine). Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. .... And "she can't read the other Dr's writing" etc etc ..... all to FINALLY get the blood test results that Duncan should be put down. :-( I could have saved Duncan one more day and night of suffering if I had put him down when I took him to the vets yesterday!
Also, by the time I finally got the blood work test results -- I couldn't FIND Duncan! He had gone off to hide (as cats often do when they don't feel well) somewhere in my apt but where???? He wasn't coming when I was calling him, even when I opened a can of food (the other two cats chowed down). I thought maybe he had hidden somewhere in the diningroom where the last care-giver (two years ago) had stacked all this stuff (making it virtually impossible to even get IN there) ... but after searching around -- I didn't find him in any of the places he could have hid in the diningroom. Since he was not meowing or making any noise when I called him, I truely felt that at this point I was searching the apt for a dead cat. :-(
Thank goodness/God ... my sis in law (who came over to help -- Bless her) and I finally found him alive, in the bedroom. (Hiding in a small square lower bookshelf. Poor little guy) :-( At this point I had mixed feelings about whether I should be taking him to be put to sleep or if it would be better for him if I could just let him peacefully go to sleep in my arms here at home. I wanted to do the later but I also didn't want him to be suffering..... Fortunately I am now VERY glad that I took him to the vets (a diferent one btw) because the Dr said that with Kidney failure -- an animal doesn't neccessarily have a peaceful death -- that more likely he would be nauseous and then even having seizures. (Well I definitely would not like him to go through that!) Soooo, hopefully I did the right thing ... altho it is hard to leave the apt WITH a cat and then come home without one. I am sure it will hit me later -- I think I am numb about it now. I had him 16 years! From October of 1992 'til November of 2008. It will be hard having him gone. :-( Poor Duncan! I will miss him.
On a hopefully more optomistic note. I am glad for the results of the election for turning out as they did (despite my whole family voting the opposite of how I voted). I sure HOPE that the new President can turn this country around and try to undo so much of the damage that the Bush administration did (IMO). Still, Obama is "inheriting" an awful lot on his plate - I am not sure one man/administration will be ABLE to fix things. And my brother is now talking about leaving the country (which scares the heck out of me -- I don't want my brother to move) I just hope that the coming changes are GOOD changes (I know -- "good" is very subjective). For as we know, we can have CHANGES and not neccessarily have the changes be for the better. (and of course, many people probably have many different ideas of what "better" would be).
I just hope we survive as a country and that the dollar can survive. I hope we can find new and cleaner energy sources, and I hope that we can take better care of animals and the Earth than we have been. I hope we can strive for peace both within the country and around the world but I also hope that we can avoid being blown up and/or killed off from biological warfare.
I guess I still am a dreamer .... I hope that these next 20 to 30 years can/will be better than my brother (and so many others) are feeling that they will be. Bless the animals and the people of the world. Bless the little kitties. Bless you, Duncan, whereever you are. =^..^=

>George's "Brainwashed"

Wow -- I wonder if this is an official video of this song -- I have never seen it before!!! (and that is rare for me to find an official George H. video that I have never seen!!!! It is a GREAT video (and song) and even has FRACTALS in it! :-)


George Harrison - Brainwashed
Uploaded by Bodhisattva1956

"Got My Mind Set On You"

I never particularly liked this video OR the song but it is a favourite of many people who grew up to it, so what the heck. :-) lolol

Hello November --

It is raining outside!! I love it love it love it!!!! I love it when it POURS!!! I went out in the rain today! I was naughty == I went to a "See's Candy" place (delicious chocolate candies) and bought some. At least I am good at making them last. :-) Then I drove to Mexicalli Express and had a nice dinner of a cheese enchalada, black beans, rice and a salad. (With lots of onions, cilantro and pico de gallo (not sure of spelling) Mmmmmmm! Because I went alone, as I usually do, I read my Dean Kootz book while I was there. Afterwards I went to Trader Joes (a great natural food store) to get some Seseme sticks, and some other things. Unfortunately they didn't have the seseme sticks or ANY of the other things I was looking for, so I just got a VERY expensive gallon of milk ($3.00 UGH) and came home.
Still, it was a pleasant afternoon.

I hope you all out there (whomever might read this blog) are having a nice day/weekend/week too. And enjoy the months ahead.

Halloween was fun on SL

I'd been making a lot of dresses this past week so last night (*Halloween) I decided to just play! It was fun. I went to a Halloween dance in a forest in Etopia, and danced with old and new friends there! :-) It was fun seeing everyone's costumes. No kids knocked on my door for candy in RL so the only thing that made it seem like a diff night than any other was celebrating on SL.
Before the Halloween dance, I went to a Samhain (spelling?) ceremony where we said goodbye to many troubles of the past and lit candles for friends, lovers, family no longer with us. It was a beautiful ceremony. *(hey - this black on black looks neat!)
I am sad to say "goodbye" to October. :-( But at least we are still heading TOWARDS Winter instead of away from it. I now wish that November would last 3 months. LOLOL

My mood has been better lately

Hi there all -- My mood has been better lately and I am sure grateful about that. I am not sure of WHY my mood has been better lately. It could be cuz this is my absolute FAVOURITE time of year!!!! I LOVE the Fall/Autumn. I love the breezes on the sunny days and the showers on the rainy days. I love the bright colours of the leaves. I love the whole MOOD of this time of year. Sort of an anticipatory mood-- or at least it feels that way to me. I love Autumn MORE than Winter and Spring and MUCH more than Summer *which I often find to be too hot and depressing. (Oppressive).
My legs have been hurting a bit less lately (this week) too. They still are hurting and it still is hard to stand and to walk -- but at least they are not QUITE as painful as they HAVE been!!! I don't know if the improvement will last or if my legs will go downhill again but I sure am grateful for them feeling a bit better this week! :-) It is wonderful!!!
Anyway -- I wanted to share these things that I am grateful for because often we forget to write about things that we are happy about. I must admit -- I wish that this week before Halloween could last for 3 months!!!!! October has passed WAYYYYYY too quickly. Soon it will be Thanksgiving and then Christmas and then looping around towards Summer (*UGH) again. I really wish this time of year would last "forever"! :-)
I had a dream of George Harrison this afternoon (my sleep has turned to days again --oh well). The mood of the dream was really nice even though I knew he was going to die soon (he died on November 29th 2001). He was performing with Eric Clapton in a concert and a lady usher moved my friend and I to the first row to see him (after two mean women audience members had threatened my friend and I at our previous seats). As usual, the MOOD of the dream is impossible to share with words but there was such a feeling of love in this dream -- even tho it was mixed with sadness at the knowledge that George was going to die from cancer in a few days. I guess my subconscious is still trying to come to terms with George Harrison being gone from this world. Even tho I never knew him, personally, he has been a very important and influencing figure in my life. I still MISS him sooo much even though it has now been 7 years since he died. (At the too young age of only 58 years old)
Anyway -- even with some anniversaries of deaths coming up ... I am still in a pretty good mood tonight and that is very nice! :-)

Special about Fractals on "NOVA" tonight

Hi there all - my sis in law told me that there is going to be a special on Fractals on "NOVA" tonight at 8 pm on our public broadcasting station! I must admit -- I can't wait. I usually love "NOVA" and it should be interesting seeing a special on Fractals! Actually I prob should try to tape it but I am too lazy to try to find the remote. lol

Above is a fractal based on the BROT ... I intended to put in a diff one but goofed on the title ... Maybe I will put in the other one as well......
Here is the one I originally intended to upload. Both are based on the fractal form "Brot" which I am sure they will talk about in the "NOVA" special. :-)

I hope it is playing in other areas too so maybe some of you out there can see the special too. If it is on at 8pm for everyone then I guess it is already playing back east.

I LOVE FRACTALS! :-)

I made two Halloween outfits

I think they turned out kind of cute and they are fun to wear. Of course along these lines -- what do I do for Thanksgiving? Make turkey dresses? LOLOL

A sunny windy Day!

I am not normally a great fan of sunny days - but I must admit that today is one of those rare sunny days that I LOVE! It is sunny and clear but not too hot or too cold. And it has a WONDERFUL dry breeze! I love hearing the leaves rustle as the wind blows. It is a somewhat warm (but not TOO warm) breeze and it reminds me of the Santa Ana's we used to have in Los Angeles in October! :-)
It is a VERY pretty day!

My stupid sleep schedule is trying to work its way...

..... back to staying up all night again --- Last "night" I went to sleep around 6 am and slept til 2:30 this afternoon. NOOOOOOO!! I don't want it to switch back around sooo soooon!! I hope I can nip this in the bud ... I took some allergy pills that usually zonk me out (a few mins ago) ...but I don't know if they will work cuz sometimes they don't. Well, wish me luck! (grins)

I was going thru some pictures of Aurora's.....

And I found some neat ones that I figured I might as well put up on this blog. :-) This one is of a funny cat sculpture I made with a fractal image texture over it. It has such a silly face I think it is cute. I also like the dress I am wearing and I hope I can find it again. It was a fun Christmas dress to wear. I wonder what I named it and if I can ever find it in my messy inventory! lol
This one below is of Phoenix and I. I wish I could say that I made the dress I am wearing in this pic but I didn't make it. It sure is a NEAT dress though, wow! Phoenix made the Chinese dress that she is wearing. :-) I love her kitten! (grins)

WOw it is sure hard to put pictures and text where I want them in this blog -- grrrrrr! Below is a cute pic from that neat SIM -- Greenies! I love the HUGE cat and the fact that it was raining in the Kitchen. And I love that Sim cuz they sure did a great job of making things so large that we feel tiny! :-)

My legs are hurting SOOOO MUCH! :-(

I went to an art therapy group today in TAW (the actual world -- got from Mykyl's blog) (grins). It was SOOOOOO HARD to go down the stairs from my apt. I held onto the railing very tightly but my legs/knees are hurting and clicking SOOO much that even leaning against the railing is not making it much easier to walk down the stairs.
I am soooo scared about all of this. In such a short time I have gone from being able to walk fine without any pain -- to hardly being able to walk AT ALL --- even with the help of a cane! I have continued to lose weight since the problems started happening with my legs/knees but the weight loss has not helped. How much longer will I be able to live in my upstairs apt? How much longer will I be able to drive or walk at all? My legs/knees have gone downhill so FAST!!!! It hurts just to stand .....and it hurts (and takes a long time) to walk from room to room (in my SMALL apt). What am I going to do?
It is very frightening. :-(

Well, at least my sleep schedule is good at the moment

I don't know how long it will last but I sure HOPE it lasts a long time!!! The last couple of days I have gone to sleep around midnight or so - and gotten up around 5 to 6:30 AM! My sleep schedule always seems to wrap around to staying up all night again but each time it is like this I TRY to have it last as long as possible! :-) I sure HOPE I can make it last cuz I really DO prefer going to bed early and getting up early in the day. I have more chances to do things and see people when I am on daylight hours. (Not that I neccessarily do anything or see anyone!) LOL!
I am still trying to work through my feelings regarding the "helper" (or lack there of) situation. Fortunately I feel a lot better than I did earlier this week but it still feels like a rug was pulled out from under me. And it has been VERY disconcerting in terms of my obviously not being very good at judging whether a person is decent or not. I still wish I knew the REAL reason why he decided he didn't want to work for me anymore (cuz my "contacting him too much" can't be the real reason cuz I didn't do the contacting - he did every time) Now I find that it is unclear as to whether he even HAD a "medical emergency" at all. But I guess I will never find out the truth of the matter. At least, the more time that goes by -- the more I am getting over this latest set-back, but it sure hit me hard.
On SL, I, as AuroraSkye, have made some fun gowns. I want to make a set of FOUR "Celestial" gowns -- (like the four "Elements" gowns) but it is harder to come up with ideas for the Celestial gowns without them being too close to each other. I even had the silly idea of trying to make a "Saturn" gown with particle RINGS around it LOLOL -- but I don't think that idea will work. Still, I like the two Celestial gowns I have come up with so far. :-)

Grrrrrr

Grrrrrr Grrrrrrr Grrrrrrr!!!!
According to the guy who assigns helpers to me -- the helper may have quit and decided to avoid me because I "contacted him too much!" I must admit -- THAT is sure a surprise because HE was the one who wanted to exchange email addies and I only wrote back to him IF he wrote to me first -- and usually just to say "Ok" to the time he said he was coming over. VERY strange!
I never initiated contact with him either by phone OR by email. In fact, when we both cancelled him coming over on Wednesday -- he told ME to write or call him with a new day for him to come work ....but I didn't get around to it -- before he contacted ME! So as I say -- it is patently ridiculous that I "contacted him too much!"
I am now thinking that he may be one of those people who fabricate stories/habitually lie -- because he sure had some stories that he told me that may very well have been lies/exagerations.
I guess I will not see the Beatles book I loaned him- ever again. And so much for him paying me back for the glitter pens he asked me to buy for him. I still don't understand the whole thing. It doesn't make sense. :-/

For whatever its worth ....

I want to clarify something and apologize to my readers .... I was VERY VERY excited about the new helper/care-giver that was recommended to me and who agreed to help me with my apt and lifting things etc. He was perfect in practically EVERY way! He was non-judgemental, honest, and kind. He could lift heavy things and was a good and eager worker. (and he liked the Beatles!) I was VERY VERY happy to have found him and was looking forward to a long association with him.

As far as I know -- we didn't have ANY problems in working together. He even talked about what we would be doing apt-wise in a year's time. I don't think he felt over-worked or anything. We had no disagreements or arguments. I don't know what the "medical emergency" was but usually people feel they can recover and are able to work again, after medical emergencies, so I can't help but wonder if there is something more to his deciding he can't work for me anymore than what he said in the email.

There was only ONE thing I was concerned about his working for me and I expressed it here. Unfortunately, in concentrating on that one concern, it came across as if it overshadowed all the GOOD parts about his working for me. I now really regret expressing the concern at all. Even though I shared no names and I felt I preserved anonymity -- I still shared things on a web page. Admittedly, it is one that I felt was/is only read by a few people, but it still is a public place and I really am VERY sorry that I shared my concerns here. :-( ESPECIALLY since the way I expressed those concerns made it SOUND like they were a bigger issue for me than they were. YES, I was worried about him and didn't want anything bad to happen to him but I DEFINATELY didn't mind sharing candy with him or sharing a meal. HECK -- I would gladly share MANY MANY meals with him and MANY MANY candy bars (*as long as the candy wouldn't make him sick) if only he would work for me again.

I wish there were a way where I could go back in time and un-do what I have done but I can't. :-( I can only apologize to whomever I may have offended with my posts here.

Lost the care-giver :-(

I am sooooo upset :-( The worker was supposed to come today at 2pm and I waited and waited (and fell asleep as I often do) He never called, and never came and I had anxiety dreams of cleaning all day ('til 9:30 pm tonight -- missing all day) :-(
I finally got up and called him -- got his answering machine. Then turned on the computer and got an email from him saying:

"I have had a medical emergency and just got home to rest. I am sorry to say that I will no longer be able to work for you any longer due to medical reasons...."

I am sooooooo upset about this!!!!!!! I had those concerns about his diabetes and how he was handling it but I felt those could be easily worked out. I have seen the list and there aren't many male workers and I really thought he would work out great! I had my hopes up so high (always a dangerous thing for me) and now they have crashed down soooo hard again.

I am SOOOOOOOOOOO upset!!!! :-( :-( :-( I have no help again and I feel so alone.

:-(

I made a new gown tonight ....

A BLUE one ...

Fitting huh? LOL

I am feeling rather down tonight ...

.....and I don't know why. It isn't low blood sugar or lack of sleep cuz I have eaten and slept. It shouldn't be because of the messy apt cuz, altho it is still messy, I AM taking steps to take care of it..... I am just feeling BLUE.
I suppose it COULD be because my close friend's mother is dying of cancer.... but then again she is 89 years old so she has had a very long and good life..... Maybe it is cause I am dreading cleaning tomorrow.... I like having things clean and I even like the process of cleaning (sometimes) but it can be painful esp the way my legs/hips/etc have been lately. Maybe I am down because of the pain in my legs/hips/etc. *SIGH*
Maybe it is just good ol' chemical depression. :-(

New Shimmer Gowns

Hi there-- I stayed up all night -- darn it -- I know I will regret it when I have to continue staying up to work on my apt -- but what's done is done. I hope I will be able to clean without getting too sick.

At least I got some new gowns out and I am excited about that. The boxes are not my usual style but I still like them. :-) It is actually nice to stray a bit from my regular arms-up-from-cheap-belly-dancer-pose boxes LOL

DARN my sleep patterns!

My stupid sleep patterns are now completely on other side of the world !!!! .... I am getting to sleep around 1:30 PM and getting up around 8:30 or so PM ... which is OPPOSITE of what I WANT to do -- It is hard to switch this cuz I am not allowed to take sleeping pills -- grrrrr.
So as it stands, the new helper will come tomorrow RIGHT when I am getting sleepy (at the end of my day) -- 1 AM for me in terms of my sleep schedule - even tho it is 1 PM local time.
This is not good. :-( I can't even FIND any sleeping pills I may have had around the apt (I am tempted to take them to go to sleep "early" tonight even tho I am not supposed to take them)
I want to be awake to clean tomorrow. I guess I will try to take those anti-allergy decongestants that make me sleepy (even tho I don't need them, and even tho they give me head-aches) :-(

A possible new helper

I'm afraid to get my hopes up too high because often things happen to cause them to go crashing down again -- but I met a new person who hopefully can come and help with my apt, today, and I am really excited and hopeful that things might really work out this time!
He has a truck (which will be handy when taking things to Goodwill - and that way I don't have to keep picking him up at the buss stop as I had to do with the last helper I had over two years ago). Since he is a man, I will feel less guilty asking him to lift some heavy things and/or bring some heavy bags of trash down.
He believes in Spirituality but not forcing religion on someone (unlike the lady I had before who tried to convert me to Christianity for a year). He likes cats and Blueberry and Tai Chi have already accepted him. He also likes George Harrison and John Lennon!!! (Not a requirement to work for me -- but it sure helps! LOLOL)
He said he can start working on Mondays and Wednesdays at 1pm. (Starting next week) I hope to try to get a LOT of cleaning done this weekend (if I can) so I can get a head start on getting this apt in order! I must admit -- I have been asking for help with this for almost 2 years now --- It has been impossible to do it all on my own. Now I hope I don't jinx things by writing that my hopes are high that I can finally have the apt back the way it was when I first moved here!
WOW, I sure hope this all works out! :-)

Making of Cirque Du Soleil's LOVE comes to Theatres

I went to the dentist again today

...... Don't I lead an exciting life???? (NOT) They put the new crowns on .... and then made ANOTHER appointment cuz evidently I have an old filling that needs to be re-done! (Sheesh == I thought the crowns were going to be the LAST of the dental work for awhile!) :-( So now I have to go back this coming Tuesday. I am SOOOOO NOT in the mood. This sure has been an expensive and rather painful summer. :-( My teeth had better LAST A LONG TIME after all this.

Wow -- there sure are some meanies out there!

I played some spades online with a friend of mine tonight -- and the games are rated so if you lose you can lose up to 15 points or more per game. Well, this awful B*tchy lady came into the game and started putting down her partner if he made any moves she decided she didn't like. THEN she accused my friend and I of cheating cuz we took longer than she wanted us to -- to decide how many tricks we could take, or to choose which cards to play (excuse me lady, I may not be the best spades player around but I am fairly good at it -- and I DON'T cheat -- grrrrrr) Every time I saw her typing I wondered what venomous thing would come out of her mouth this time! She (and her partner) won the game so she didn't lose her precious points. Sheesh!
Then, my friend had to go to bed so I decided to play one more game with someone I didn't know. The game seemed to be going well but then my partner "nilled" (which means she can't take ANY tricks, and I have to protect her from the other people trying to put low cards down to make her take a trick) Well, I royally goofed it this time -- I protected her well until a ten of hearts was played, I put down a low diamond cuz I wanted to get rid of the card that I couldn't protect her with .... well I should have put down a spade (the trump cards) because it turned out that she had the ACE of hearts. :-( Needless to say, she took the trick and it ruined the nil (penalizing us both by 100 points) I apologized for my mistake but she still "yelled" at me in chat, saying "you don't count cards do you?" (which is true - I have trouble counting cards) and she quit the game, leaving me to finish the game partnered with a Bot (notoriously not good against humans) I am SORRY I made that mistake and yeah it was a dumb one but sheesh!!!! I have had people make dumb mistakes that have goofed up my nils too .... I just think it is such a shame that people are sooooo B*TCHY now. It IS only a game -=- rating points or not. :-(
Oh well -- that was very upsetting. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed at my stupidity - but again== we, as humans, DO make mistakes sometimes. I think it is such a shame that as fellow human beings, we can't be a little more forgiving and understanding towards eachother. :-(

I am trying to turn my sleep schedual around AGAIN...

Hi there~~ I tried to sleep all day and all night yesterday to try to turn my stupid sleep schedual around again. I don't know WHY it keeps ending up that I stay up all night == often til mid morning the next day .... and then sleep til evening only to do it all again. I keep going thru phases where my waking hours are more normal -- but for some reason - the normal hours NEVER stay. :-( Sometimes I try to do a marathon sleep to bring the hours back to normal -- and sometimes I do the opposite and do a marathon "stay-awake-athon." Unfortunately the long sleep bit didn't work this time -- cuz I just couldn't take it any more and got up at 2 AM -- Maybe I can TRY to stay up almost 22 hours or so and go to bed tonight at midnight? I sure wish my wake/sleep rhythms were normal. :-(

Closing down my Gallery

Hi there~~ I am saddenned at recent losses on SL. The loss of SylvaMoon Ember and of Faeria. Sylva and I shared some personal thoughts with each other and I am shocked at her being gone so suddenly. The loss of Faeria also feels like the loss of a friend (altho of course the loss of a person is far more devastating than the loss of a place). I wanted to go to the last Faeria thingy yesterday, but unfortunately I've turned night into day again and I slept thru it. :-( I hope it went well and hopefully we can all still get together somewhere as friends hanging out -- even though Faeria is gone.

I need to head over there tonight/this morning to empty out my gallery. It will be sad cuz I liked my gallery there. It had a neat peaceful mood. Oh well.....

I haven't been feeling very creative lately, or rather, I have felt creative but I have not been happy with my attempts at creativity. LOL. I have wanted to make some more dresses -- something very different -- but every time I try to do something I am unhappy with the results. Hopefully whatever this block is will leave me soon. :-)

We are having another small heatwave this weekend and early this week. Frankly I thought we were finished with the hot weather but I guess not. I need to do dishes, and laundry, and apt cleaning today. Ahhh what a thrilling life I lead. LOLOL

Darn -- I am upset!

I was supposed to have a helper come in two days this week (coming the two days was HER idea) and I planned my whole week around it. But then yesterday (Tuesday - the first day she was supposed to come over) She never came -- and never answered her calls....and never called back from the messages I left. And when I finally DID reach her -- she just said: "Oh I forgot" and didn't bother to even apologize for the inconvenience that her "forgetting" caused me. :-(
Then, last night, she said that she would be here today at 1pm. Well, after 1pm she calls and says "I think I have to cancel working for you cuz I don't have enuf gas to get there!" Well, why didn't she say that LAST night???? TWO days screwed up cuz of this "flake!" I think she actually found some jobs closer by and decided she didn't want to work for me cuz of that but she could have told me last week!!! :-( Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!
I must admit this is so frustrating cuz I was really depending upon this person's help this week. :-( Now I have to try to find someone else (and that is hard to do) and the whole thing is just a pain. Oh well -- sorry for K'vetching. :-(

The MEAN KITTY SONG

I forget if I posted this video or not but I LOVE it === so it is worth re= posting. :-) The guy who made this video sure did an excellent job with timing and editing!!! VERY talented!
ENJOY!

OUCH!!!

WOW --- I knew I was dreading my dentist appointment today having to have TWO crowns prepared but little did I know just how AWFUL it would be!!! I have had teeth prepared for crowns before but this time was far worse than ever before. My dentist now uses a less powerful novacaine because my blood pressure keeps registering as too high when I am there! *** What do they expect? I am at the DENTIST- sheesh!!!! LOLOL But unfortunately (or fortunately depending upon how you look at it) they don't want to use the longer lasting novacaine because (as the assistant said) she didn't want to end up having to give me mouth to mouth recessitation (spelling?) to revive me. I said-- "Why not? You said I was cute!" LOLOL
Anyway -- they had to give me more novacaine about three times during the crown preps because it kept wearing off and it was really HURTING!!! OW! At one point one of my side "fang" teeth was throbbing even though all the dental work was being done much further back in my mouth.
The dental work took a LONG time too -- at least 2 and a half hours, I think. I will certainly think twice before I have TWO crown preps done at the same time ever again. It was soooooo awful. My gums were killing me, and my mouth was soooo tired of having to stay open. The teeth that need the crowns are in the worst place for this sort of thing-- UPPER right, ..... WAYYYYYY in the back! -- UGH! I am SOOOO SOOOO SOOOOO glad that that fiasco is OVER! Of course -- I still have to go back to have the finished crowns put on but hopefully it won't be as awful as this crown preparation was.
And of course, after all that, they actually wanted me to PAY for the pain they inflicted! (The NERVE of them!) (LOLOL) I have NO dental insurance so I keep putting it on a credit card but WOW -- today's visit was $2500 even with a pay-it-all-at-once 5% discount! (Eeeeek) (No wonder the assistant told me how much it was going to cost while I was still in the chair so I couldn't fall over onto the floor in shock!) :-/
Funny -- as I re-look at the random pic of a fractal I posted on my blog yesterday (below) - it NOW looks like a tooth with roots intertwined and various crowns, fillings, braces interwoven amongst the white enamel tooth surfaces. I wonder if my subconscious saw that connection and picked that particular fractal because I had teeth and dental appointments on my mind. I may have to re-name that fractal! LOLOL

I wish I were better at thinking of things to write....

Hi there all --- I keep wanting to write something fantastically creative here -- but when I try to think of anything my mind goes blank. I end up writing about mundane things like how hot it is outside or my mood for the day. How do you other creative bloggers do it?? And so many of you also manage to be hilariously funny too! I am in awe of you all out there. How do you do it?
Maybe I will just try to find some pretty image to put in here. I guess I am more of a visual artist than a writer. I wish I could be both. Oh well.... Even looking through my artwork - it all seems boring. I guess I must be in some sort of a MOOD today......

My brother and mom liked their B-day paintings...

Hi there-=- I am so glad my brother and mom liked their B-day paintings. (And my sis in law liked them too) At first she said they would hang the painting in the bathroom :-( That is not where I would like that hung but it is up to them of course. I hope they hang it in their office or livingroom where they get to see it often, and enjoy it. I re-asked the girl who helped me decide what Hebrew to paint on it -- what Yahweh/Shalom means and she said it could mean: "I am your wholeness" OR "Yahweh is my wholeness and my peace." I like those meanings. :-)