Tuesday, December 30, 2008

"George at Apple Studios" drawing

Hmmmmm,.... I guess I was in a creative mood tonight -- I just drew another one. :)

Monday, December 29, 2008

I felt inspired tonight and drew a picture of George :-)

I have tried a few times before but they never turned out-- whereas this one finally turned out (or at least turned out pretty well) -- It is not easy to do realistic portraits with a computer mouse! LOL.
There are still probably parts of this drawing I will want to change and refine. It still doesn't quite look the way I want it to look.

Someplace Else: This is such a beautiful song

I really hope this works and I really hope you all *whomever happens to stop by* take the time to watch this video. It is short but OH it is such a BEAUTIFUL melody.

I hope you all had a wonderful Holiday

Hi there all! It is SUNNY here today (Eeek!) LOLOL (I guess it is ok) The snow is ALL melted. I sure loved our snow storm this year and I HOPE we have some more before the Winter season ends. (grins) But it is also VERY nice to be able to get out of the apt and drive somewhere. :-)
I haven't been on the computer for a couple of days (it FEELS like it has been even longer) I visited my mom this past Saturday and that was nice. My brother and sis in law came by for 2 hours too (before they went to a Chanukah party) -- After they left, mom and I watched "Wall.E" and "Ratatoulle" (mom's DVDs). I liked "Ratatoulle" best, but it was fun to see them both. I got a very pretty sparkly (you know me and sparkles LOL) Christmas card (of a tree) from mom, with a gift card for a meal at Red Lobster (mmmmmmm) ....and Rob and Maureen (my brother and sis in law) gave me a poster of George Harrison "for Chanukah" ! Ok ... LOL Mom gave Rob and Maureen some nice restaurant gift cards too ("Olive Garden" and "AppleBees").
I gave mom and Maureen 3 pairs of handmade bead earrings. I think (hope) they liked them. I didn't really have a present for my brother because I didn't think we were going to exchange gifts at all (seeing as how he is now against Christmas as being "too Pagan") ... so I ended up just giving him 4 wrapped "Heath" candy bars, but he said he was pleased with them and shared one with us all. I also gave mom some chocolate jelly sticks (she loves those) and I gave Maureen a nice gel pen set. I still wish we could go back to having our regular family Christmas the way we used to -- (I really miss the way it used to be) but I am grateful that at least we had this brief family get-together this past Saturday. :-)

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Happy Holidays!!!

Hi there all - I hope you are all having a nice Christmas (or whatever Holiday you celebrate) I am sitting here alone (with my cats) unable to go anywhere (and not really having a Christmas even if I COULD go somewhere) .... but at least I am glad that we had these wonderful snow storms this year. Our snow seems to be over (unfortunately) .... we mainly seem to be getting rain now -- but the roads (and stairs) are still slippery, and the news/weather stations are saying that we need to have chains or traction devices to drive down I-5 from my exit, to about 20 miles down. (So, that means I can't go visit mom today) *EEEEEW -- now the sun is coming out-- BLAH .... :-( But still, I am very glad that we had snow and this is an OFFICIAL "White Christmas!."
I called a friend with whom I'd been out of contact since this past summer (long story on the reason why but suffice to say that it was her not calling me not the other way around, after she had wronged me, so the ball was really in her court, so to speak....) I decided to just let bygones be bygones and be in the spirit of the season and call her. -=- Well, I guess that was a mistake!!! I spoke to her husband, and he was nice but when he told her who it was she said that she couldn't get to the phone (she was "in the bathroom and would call me right back") Well, she hasn't called (and she has had plenty of time to finish up) so I guess she is pulling what she did last summer again. I guess she probably won't call (and after saying so many times how our friendship would last forever! HA!) I wish it didn't hurt but it does. Now I feel like a fool for having called her --- even tho I know that that was a nice, forgiving thing for me to do.
I know that I took the high road by calling so I should not feel bad even though she is being a jerk -- but unfortunately it still hurts. :-( I must admit -- I really hate how someone being mean can really cause one's own mood to go down. I would like it not to affect me but screw it -- it DOES affect me. (I guess I am in a "grumpy mood, like FD gets in, sometimes" Bah Humbug LOL) (Hopefully this mood will pass soon cuz I know it only hurts me -- and I hate feeling this way. In general, even tho I can be a depressed person sometimes, I usually really TRY to keep a good attitude about things. I guess I just don't understand, even after all these years, why some people seem to enjoy hurting others. :-(
Well, I hope you all are having a nice Holiday, Merry Christmas etc. I have sure had better ones. I hope I have a better one next year (if I am still here) (I wouldn't DO anything-- I just know that we never know when our time is up on Earth) Remember our time is short here, and call those whom you love.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Thick Ice and Power going out

The freezing rain came early last night and covered my window by the computer (among other things). Now it looks like opaque textured shower glass that you can't see thru! lol The poor tree branches (and power lines) are weighted down with the ice. It sure LOOKS pretty though. Last night/this morning my power went out twice but fortunately it came back. It sure got cold in here FAST when the power went out! I was already under two quilts with a warm cat but within about five minutes I was trying to hide my face under the blanket cuz my face got very cold. I am glad the power came back quickly that time.
Of course, the power going out plays havoc with a sleep apnea machine. I woke up this morning, trying to breath thru the mask with no air coming thru. Fortunately they have holes in the mask so it is not like I was going to suffocate or anything, but of course I took the mask off cuz it was not doing any good anyway.
One of my new friends on SL to the south of me had her power go out last night while we were on SL. She was able to stay online for a while even with the power out (I still am not quite sure how she did that) (lol) but her power didn't come back. I was worried about her but thank goodness today I heard that she went to a hotel so she is ok. I am so glad. I hope her power comes back at home soon.
I still love this wild weather but I DO wish that I were better at driving in it. (grins) There are no stores or buss-stops within walking distance of me and I do get a bit tired of being stuck here ..... But still, stuck or not, power outages or not, I do love this weather. (smiles)

Friday, December 19, 2008

My Newest ratemydrawing.com sketch ...

Hi there --- I decided to play with that "ratemydrawing.com" page again. They have a new beta drawing tool so I decided to play with it. Their water colour brush is rather interesting to work with. My drawings are nothing compared to some of the FANTASTIC drawings you can find at that site -- but it was still fun to play there. I guess I will head off to bed now.


Whooooo Hoooo ! I can't help it - another SNOW post! :-)

Hi there --- I royally goofed up my sleep again by staying up all night, constantly looking out my window and praying for more SNOW ..... It took FOREVER (it seemed) but it FINALLY arrived around 4:30 am! I stood out in it and caught some on my tongue! (I am so mature- grins) lolol I admired the beautiful glittering world as the flakes fell silently. My hair is still damp from snowflakes! (giggles)
I let Blueberry out a bit so she could look at the snow as it fell on her fur(I held her cuz I didn't want her running away and getting lost....) She is sure curious about it. :-) It is so beautiful and so fresh! I was so excited I turned on my computer and went to my blog page JUST so I could post about it! (smiles) (Of course, now it has stopped -- darn it - but still, it was/is so wonderful! I hope we get LOTS more!)
***I guess this is what happens when you don't get snow as a kid-- you make up for it as an adult! (giggles) Watch out parents -- let your kids experience snow as kids if you don't want them to turn out all wacky for it as an adult like me! :-D *** (Darn -- I wish it would start snowing again!)

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


..... but BOY is my apt C O L D (even with a heat-dish) LOL
I wanted to try to drive somewhere today (cuz I haven't been out for awhile) but it was TOOOO cold ... (especially with no sweat shirts, no sweaters, no coats, no jackets, and just a hoody to wear. LOL -- I guess I didn't prepare myself very well clothes-wise for cold weather!) Still, I LOVE this cold weather =- ESPECIALLY if it snows some more! :-)

Sunday, December 14, 2008

We finally got SNOW!!!! Whooo HOooooooo!!!

We got SNOW today!!!!!!!!! Yipeeeeee!!!! I was waiting and waiting and waiting for it! It looks soooo lovely outside! I admit, I can do without the cooooooldddddd winddddd but still -- I love the snow!! We are going to have the coldest week we have had in over 18 years --- it will be sunny, clear and cold (ugh) sooooo I am VERY glad that we got some snow to start it out! (I am not a huge fan of it being VERY cold so I figure if it is going to be soooo cold == then it is much more fun having snow on the ground!) It is going to be below 0 degrees with the wind chill this week so wowowowow -- wish I had better heaters in the apt, and I wish I had a coat! LOLOLOL (so much for being prepared) :-(
It is hard to beat having lovely white flakes falling, even though they stopped over two hours ago! I wish it were going to SNOW for a week, but oh well! For the rest of the week we have only the cold temps to look forward to -- with no more precipitation. Still, I am sooooo happy the snow came today!! :-D Whoooooo Hoooooo!!! (grins)
(It IS a bit cold sitting here by the computer even tho I have my heatdish on, and a blanket over me...... I think I will turn everything off and go back under the blankets cuz this is toooooo cold to type (and our BIG freeze hasn't even HIT yet -- eeek) ) lolol It may be too cold to spend much time at the computer this week. (This is not a very warm apt) (my computer is right by two windows == on the North/East corner of my apt (facing directly into the cold cold cold wind).

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Today is the anniversary of the last time I talked to my friend Karen...

Sorry that there are so many blogs, here lately, about anniversaries of deaths etc, but for some reason these months (late November thru mid January) have a LOT of sad anniversaries for me. (More than at any other time of year) I don't know why there should be so many in these months ..... I wonder if other people have anniversaries like this at this time of year. Maybe people tend to die more around the end of the year cuz of it being the end of a year? Or maybe it is just the way it is for my family/friends.

At any rate, on Monday, Dec 11th 2005, at about 11 am or so -- I got a call from my friend, Karen (whom I had known for over 35 years) telling me that she was feeling very depressed and suicidal.. She was calling from Los Angeles, where she had gone down for a week or two to visit her man/friend (*boyfriend just doesn't seem to fit for a 60+ year old man .... Karen prefered older men). She had spent most of 2005 up in Oregon, and I'd spent 3 to 5 days every week she was up here trying to help her to get acclaimated to where maybe she could stay here if she chose to. Like me, she always prefered the rain to the sun, so she was VERY tired of Los Angeles where it usually is full of endless sunny days. She even had a pet for the first time in her life (from 2004 to 2005) -- a Bishon Frise (spelling) she'd named Shatzi. Anyway, Alan (her friend) had paid for her to have an apt up here for that past year, to see if she really liked living in Oregon (instead of just always talking about it) It was very nice of him to pay for that apt for a year for her. Understandibly, he didn't want to pay for it indefinately so it was time for her to decide to either move to Oregon and pay for it herself or move back down to LA. I found out (later) that she had enough money to pay for an apt up in Oregon for a year -=- but I guess she somehow didn't think she could afford it -- so that day (when she called me) she was angry at her father for not giving her money to move up here and she felt like she had to perminently move back down to LA.

She told me she was upset and suicidal during that last phone call but unfortunately I thought she needed an empathetic ear more than a more active 'intervention" on my part. I didn't realize she had actually decided she was going to commit suicide and was taking steps to do it as we spoke on the phone that morning. :-( I wish I HAD realized this because I think I would have said different things to her and maybe even been able to talk her out of it, or even called the authorities to get her hospitalized (which I would have done -whether it made her angry or not) -- but instead I was just trying to be there for her as she expressed her feelings of depression. I DID ask her "What are you doing now?" but all she said to that was "I'm taking a walk." Which sounded pretty healthy to me so I didn't persue it. I should have. Turns out she was "taking a walk" to a hotel to spend the next couple of nights there taking pills 'til she OD'ed. :-(

Intellectually, I know that I am not to blame for her suicide. If someone really wants to commit suicide they will eventually succeed. She had talked of killing herself for the full 35 years I had known her (and before). She was getting better and better at it with each attempt. I KNOW this and yet I still feel that I could have said something to talk her out of it.
With her last attempt I had been able to find her in time (even tho she was unconscious from the pill overdose). She'd come very close to succeeding that time (in Jan 2004) and, I guess, would have succeeded had I not found her. She was furious at me afterwards for rescuing her. She didn't talk to me for months. But she got almost 2 more years of life after the 2004 suicide attempt which is a good thing. I wish that I had realised what she was saying/doing when she called me that December 11th morning three years ago today. I am sure that that phone call will replay over and over again in my head 'til the day I die. :-( :-( :-(

If ANY of you out there feels even the least bit suicidally depressed -- CALL for help, be VERY clear about your intentions, let yourself be admitted into a hospital for awhile, see a therapist, DO SOMETHING to save yourself --- because suicide is a decision you can not come back from. It also affects the people you love for the rest of their lives! There is a lot of anger in suicide. Many people who commit suicide want to "show them" (punish the people they love - for not having loved them enough -- "look what you drove me to.") I know they also want to end the pain of their lives -- but as I say == the decision is FINAL, and once you're gone, you're gone.
The one CONSTANT thing of life is change -- and that means that even the things that are depressing you will change and many will go away. There CAN be a light at the end of the dark tunnel. You CAN feel happy and fulfilled again... (or even happy and fulfilled for the first time in your life). Suicide takes all those chances away AND -- it leaves your loved ones with mixed feelings of sorrow for their friend/lover who was killed AND ANGER at the murderer who killed them - (which, in suicide, is the same person).
(I know I am on the soap box here but if even ONE person reads this and changes their minds about suicide == then it is worth it!) Too bad it is too late for Karen. :-(

(((((((Hugs to you all out there))))))
Take care of yourselves!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Wow, I totally goofed up my sleep again! LOLOL

Hi there -- I stayed up all night and all morning and now heading into the afternoon! Sheesh! I really shouldn't do this I know, but I get on a roll and can't stop. (no online addict here) HA !LOL
At least I made three new gowns and I sent one out as a Holiday Present to my *AuroraSkye Creations* group on SL,.... So, if you are in the group -- make sure you got the present -- and if you are NOT in the group -- join it for free (if you wish to) and you can get the Holiday Present Fractal Gown by going through the notices. (Which won't be hard cuz, as far as I know, there is only ONE notice there! LOLOL).

Monday, December 8, 2008

Anniversary of when John Lennon was killed...

I made this photo retouch in honor of John today. I always liked this photo. It is so sad that John was killed -- especially at such a young age! I hate that.
It is so sad for his family, and for all of us. I can't help but wonder about all the additional music he would have made, and what he would have thought about the war in Iraq etc. So much for "Imagine - Peace."
I know I never knew him personally, but I still miss his presence upon the Earth with all of us. I hope there is an after-life where maybe we can all see people again.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

I visited mom today ...

Oh, ok, I guess officially it was YESTERDAY (cuz it is after midnight as I write this).....
It was a nice visit. I picked up some subway sandwiches for us both, so we enjoyed a nice lunch/dinner. Then we tried to order a pay-per-view movie but found that we couldn't cuz the box for her cable is owned by the assisted care living place and they only allow people to have the regular cable stations with no pay-per-views. Oh well. So we watched a couple of the FREE movies on the "On Demand" station. One was "Joe's Apartment" (I think that was the name of it) where some guy moves into a NY apt and shares it with thousands of (animated) cockroaches. (And they sing and dance too! LOL) Then we watched "Mr. Wrong" with Bill Pullman and Ellen DeGeneres. Both were pretty weird movies. LOL
Now I am very sleepy, .... so I guess I should head for bed. (Oh what an exciting life I lead) (Actually I am glad it is not too exciting) (grins)

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Hi there all (or whomever stumbles upon this blog)

For some reason I have not really felt like getting on SL lately. I am not sure why. I miss my friends there but I guess I have just felt the need to "be alone" and reflect. This time of year has a lot of anniversaries of many losses for me. Fortunately, I am not particularly depressed but I guess I am just in a solitary type mood.
Tomorrow, I promised to visit my mother. I always enjoy our visits once I am there -- and I am glad that she is here for me to visit -- but at the moment I am not in the mood to go anywhere. Oh well.
I hope you all (or whomever still reads this blog - if anyone- lol) are doing ok. I do want to come back and be more active in SL soon --- Hopefully, I will eventually. In the mean time I hope life is treating everyone well.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

"Critter" died :-(

In 2001, (pre 9/11 -- by a month) I got a sweet little sugar glider I named "Critter"! (His original name was "Tiny Tim" - eeek!) I bought him from a friend in St Louis who I was visiting. He flew home on the plane with me in my bra! He was sooooooo cute! When I got him home, Blueberry, (who I had bought in June that same year) befriended him. She used to spend hours watching him run and play in his large cage - and he came over and greeted her a lot too. I took him to Art School with me in his little pouch. I really LOVED him but I was also worried that I was not able to provide the best home for him. The more I learned about Sugar Gliders -- the more I realised that they are very social creatures and prefer to have another sugar glider around. Also, their diet is VERY specific and specialized (and not easy to make) One has to be careful that they get enough calcium in their diets or they could get paralysis. I started to worry that my care would not be good enough for him so I eventually gave him away to someone who had other sugar gliders, on the contingency that I could still visit him. After I gave him away -- I regretted it. I had never given one of my pets away before, and I really missed him. (So did Blueberry) And, Jonathon, the guy I gave him to, lived somewhat far away so it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be to visit Critter. Still, I kept telling myself it was for the best for my little sugar glider.
Now, I am not so sure it WAS the best for him. Sugar Gliders can normally live up to 14 years in captivity. Critter was only 7 years old, so he definitely didn't die of old age. :-( Still, I don't blame Jonathon (the guy who I gave him to). I am sure he tried his best.
I got the call from Jonathon, today. It was the first time I had heard from him in almost 6 years, so I had feeling that this was not good news. He said that Critter was fine last night and the night before, but that, today, he found him dead in his wheel. :-( Jonathon said that he noticed that one of Critter's hind legs seemed to be a bit paralyzed at one point, a couple of days ago, but that he thought nothing of it. He had also not had the BML (which is the MAIN part of a sugar glider's diet) for a month or so =- because the store had been out of one of its main ingredients, but that he didn't think that a sugar glider could die from low calcium in just a month! I guess we will never know what happenned.
Even though Critter didn't live with me the last 6 years, I thought of him often and figured that I would still get to visit him sometime. It hurts because now I NEVER WILL be able to see his sweet, loving, little face again. :-(

RIP little one.