Duncan is dead :-(

Hi there all -- *(or whomever still reads this blog). I had to put my oldest cat, Duncan, down tonight. :-( I probably should have yesterday but then the vet told me they would do blood work and call me today with the results, and he gave me anti-biotics to give him in case the problem was an infection. Frankly, I am NOT at all happy with how the vets ended up handling things. They SAID they would call today but they never did and then when I called them for the blood work results they just kept giving me excuse after excuse as to why they didn't have the results. I had to call a lot and be on hold a lot and even call the vet I saw yesterday over at a diff office (where he was today) THEN they didn't even FAX him the test results when they said they were doing so --"The fax machine was broken" ... and the "blood test machine was broken" yesterday, ... and "The Dr wasn't here today" (but they already KNEW he wasn't going to be there ... and then the Dr who WAS in was soooo busy today (well, again, that is THEIR mis-management - not mine). Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. .... And "she can't read the other Dr's writing" etc etc ..... all to FINALLY get the blood test results that Duncan should be put down. :-( I could have saved Duncan one more day and night of suffering if I had put him down when I took him to the vets yesterday!
Also, by the time I finally got the blood work test results -- I couldn't FIND Duncan! He had gone off to hide (as cats often do when they don't feel well) somewhere in my apt but where???? He wasn't coming when I was calling him, even when I opened a can of food (the other two cats chowed down). I thought maybe he had hidden somewhere in the diningroom where the last care-giver (two years ago) had stacked all this stuff (making it virtually impossible to even get IN there) ... but after searching around -- I didn't find him in any of the places he could have hid in the diningroom. Since he was not meowing or making any noise when I called him, I truely felt that at this point I was searching the apt for a dead cat. :-(
Thank goodness/God ... my sis in law (who came over to help -- Bless her) and I finally found him alive, in the bedroom. (Hiding in a small square lower bookshelf. Poor little guy) :-( At this point I had mixed feelings about whether I should be taking him to be put to sleep or if it would be better for him if I could just let him peacefully go to sleep in my arms here at home. I wanted to do the later but I also didn't want him to be suffering..... Fortunately I am now VERY glad that I took him to the vets (a diferent one btw) because the Dr said that with Kidney failure -- an animal doesn't neccessarily have a peaceful death -- that more likely he would be nauseous and then even having seizures. (Well I definitely would not like him to go through that!) Soooo, hopefully I did the right thing ... altho it is hard to leave the apt WITH a cat and then come home without one. I am sure it will hit me later -- I think I am numb about it now. I had him 16 years! From October of 1992 'til November of 2008. It will be hard having him gone. :-( Poor Duncan! I will miss him.
On a hopefully more optomistic note. I am glad for the results of the election for turning out as they did (despite my whole family voting the opposite of how I voted). I sure HOPE that the new President can turn this country around and try to undo so much of the damage that the Bush administration did (IMO). Still, Obama is "inheriting" an awful lot on his plate - I am not sure one man/administration will be ABLE to fix things. And my brother is now talking about leaving the country (which scares the heck out of me -- I don't want my brother to move) I just hope that the coming changes are GOOD changes (I know -- "good" is very subjective). For as we know, we can have CHANGES and not neccessarily have the changes be for the better. (and of course, many people probably have many different ideas of what "better" would be).
I just hope we survive as a country and that the dollar can survive. I hope we can find new and cleaner energy sources, and I hope that we can take better care of animals and the Earth than we have been. I hope we can strive for peace both within the country and around the world but I also hope that we can avoid being blown up and/or killed off from biological warfare.
I guess I still am a dreamer .... I hope that these next 20 to 30 years can/will be better than my brother (and so many others) are feeling that they will be. Bless the animals and the people of the world. Bless the little kitties. Bless you, Duncan, whereever you are. =^..^=