Hi there -- I went to a depression class today...

Hi there all (or whomever reads this blog) I went to a depression class/group today in RL. It deals with ways we all can fight depression and improve our lives. It is an 8 week course that repeats. It changes because different people go through it -- each bringing their own dimension to things. Today's topic was "Boundaries." That is a very good topic for a depression group because often people get depressed if they are unable to keep healthy boundaries between them and others. Often depressed people desire so much to please others that they don't say "no" when asked to do things -- even when it really would be a better idea to be able to say "no." They end up getting walked all over and that can lead to feelings of anger, resentment, anxiety, depression, chaos etc etc. These behaviours often start in early childhood. I know that when I grew up == I was NOT allowed to say "NO" to my mom especially. I also realized, at a very young age, that if I tried to "make mom happy" (an impossible task in reality cuz we can't "MAKE" anyone happy or sad etc) I could avoid her wrath (which seemed to come up often). (My mom was a rageaholic) While that helped me get along in our household growing up, this behaviour has not particularly helped me in later, adult years. At least, being aware of it, I think I have been able to tone down my "people pleasing" behaviours a bit - but I still find that I feel a lot of guilt if I want to do something that others don't want me to do.

For example -=- it is my birthday this coming Saturday and my family has kindly said that they would take me wherever I want for dinner (on Friday). I chose a very nice fish place called McGraths where we went last year. But my mom, and my sis in law have both expressed wanting to go elsewhere. I am sticking to McGrath's so far== but I DO feel guilty about it. But heck, it is my birthday and I never go there on my own .... so I hope that we all can go there and have fun. :-) (And, hopefully, I can try to deal with the guilt I feel about not chosing a restaurant that mom, and Maureen might prefer. :-)

How 'bout you all? Do you find you often say "Yes" to something when you really should respect your own boundaries and say "no"? Did you grow up in a family where you had to "people please", or you saw your parents "people please" so those were the behaviours you learned? Have you been able to learn how to keep better boundaries now that you're a bit older and more experienced? Are there people in your lives that are still trying to take too much from you - or take advantage of you in some way? Any suggestions for us all on how to handle that?

(Just some thoughts -- I hope I get some responses -- this blog is usually pretty dead over here LOLOL)

Be well everyone! :-)