Saturday, February 9, 2008

I should be in bed - attempting to sleep but....

... I am fighting it again. I guess part of it is that now that I know that I stop breathing at least 40 times an hour - I am more nervous about trying to sleep. I knew I had sleep apnea before (people have told me I stop breathing and should have it checked for years) but I figured it only happenned maybe once or twice a week! To find out (after a sleep test overnight at the hospital this past Tuesday) that it happens SOOOOO often per hour, and is a severe case of it, really has me freaked. :-(

I think my siamese mix cat, Tai Chi, tries to wake me up from apnea episodes by licking my face with her rough tongue. It is not a usual lick "asking for permission" to sleep near me -- or a lick cuz my skin tastes good, or even a cat face washing ... it is a much more determined licking than that, and she doesn't stop 'til I wake up and then she stops immediately. When she does this -- it even comes into my dreams. Just last night I dreampt that a cat was washing my face and it was hurting cuz it's tongue was so rough, ... so I moved the cat away (in my dream) and then I was surprized (again, in the dream) because I still felt the scratchy tongue on my face! I finally rose to consciousness and there she was. She stopped immediately and settled down. I think she is my little "apnea interrupter-cat."

I just wish that I didn't have sleep apnea because it really hurts my chest and I often wake up with my heart pounding in my ears. There is a good chance of having a stroke or a heart attack with sleep apnea. It is VERY bad for the heart to stop breathing like that -- and of course the oxygen levels go down. Evidently I haven't had a restful night of sleep for ages. It now makes more sense that I have this insomnia -- I am sure that I am afraid to sleep, so I often stay up for over 24 hours which is also not good for me. At least now, maybe I can be a bit more forgiving of myself for this sleep problem that I used to think was laziness -- but still -- I don't want to deal with this.

On top of things-- they are saying the insurance might not pay for the test last Tuesday night (at $2000) and for the 2nd night I need to spend there to try to get a C-PAP oxygen mask thingy set-up (ANOTHER $2000?) (eeek) Of course, I have to find a way to pay for it no matter what cuz this is a matter of health but still -- I really hate this. :-(

SORRY to be complaining here --- I usually try to be a somewhat cheerful person --- but I guess it does help to vent a bit and I have no where else to put these feelings. I hope whomever reads this can forgive me in advance.


To be honest, I'm scared. From what I hear, it is hard keeping the C-PAP mask etc clean = esp if the house is messy with dust and cat hair (which this apt is) It just seems like my health, apartment, LIFE, is in worse shape than it has EVER been before -- and I don't see much hope in things getting better. In many ways it is my own fault but knowing that doesnt help me turn things around.

Blah -- I really was NOT intending to write about all this -- I was GOING to write my desire to see people be more careful about using "then" and "than" properly -- lol -- but I guess I had these health problems on my mind and heart. Maybe I can write about "then" and "than" later, sometime. :-)

I keep trying to call my regular Dr about this -- the tech at the Sleep lab said that I need to make an appointment to get set up with the Oxygen mask ASAP . But my stupid Dr's office keeps saying they will call back and then they don't. Now it is the weekend and I still have no appointment schedualed for next week. :-(

Well, thank you for letting me vent -- I guess I should face sleeping now ---not that I want to. -- I am tired but I hate how much of a struggle sleep has become. Hopefully I will be in a better mood the next time I "blog" here. :-D


FD Spark said...

Landy uses a Cpap machine too.
He told me to what you need to do is this with your Cpap machine that you need to clean it throughly every day and make sure its away from anything else even if the cat is around it or you apartment is messy.
It will help you with your breathing problems and exhaustion.
You're exhausted and choking because of apnea. You might not have the energy now to clean your apartment but you must clean your machine throughly every day.

FD Spark said...

Also Landy suggest sleep sitting up.
Also if you wake up and still tired leave the machine on your face while you're sitting up. He says often you will really fall asleep.

Malicious Intent said...

Oh man, what a rough deal! I have had problems with sleeping due to health issues, mostly pain and stress, so I can relate to the frustrations of sleeping like a normal person.

Keep going forward, get the tests and get the oxygen...that should help you start to have more energy. The lack of oxygen has had to be just robbing you of everything.

Good luck and keep us posted. And never apologize for venting over something like that. If you cannot do it on your own blog, where can ya?

AuroraSkye said...

Thank you for your comments and suggestions, FD, Landy, and Malicious. Fortunately I am in a much better mood today. BOY I was down last night/this morning ... but I did get some sleep (sitting up) from about 10 am til 3:30 pm -- and I went out and got some kitty litter (greatly needed LOL) so I am feeling much better about myself today. Thank you, sweet friends. :-)